“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
– George Santayana
Do you ever find yourself repeating the same negative patterns in your life, over and over again? Maybe you always seem to fall in love with the “same” type of person; or when you’re in a stressful situation, your default reaction is to lash out at others. It can be frustrating… No matter how hard you try to do things differently, it seems that these patterns are simply too entrenched in your life, and breaking free from them is too much of a struggle. But thinking that you must address your current “symptoms” to find relief is a faulty approach to healing. You see, your present-day circumstances and reactions aren’t the cause of your issues: instead, there were events that took place years ago that initiated these patterns. Sadly, the consequences of these unresolved events will eventually resurface, and feelings of anxiety, overwhelm, or an inability to experience true intimacy with others are indicators of your hidden wounds. The key, then, is to get to the root of what’s causing you to repeat those negative patterns in the first place. Once you heal the old wounds that got you to where you are today, you can finally make a shift in your life and eliminate those feelings and behaviors that no longer serve you. Fortunately, it’s not necessary to remember the earliest event that set off such a negative chain reaction, but it is imperative that you address the feelings that led you to adopt these unproductive coping mechanisms. Taking a three-pronged approach to healing is the best way to get to the root of these recurrent patterns. Let’s take a look at each step:
Reconnect With the Core
For any lasting change to take place, you’ll need to identify what core wound has led you to mask your feelings with negative behavior patterns. You can access these wounds through a body-felt experience, which will allow you to hone in on the body site that houses the trapped emotion. These sites vary, depending on the type of wound you’ve experienced, and therefore the process to release the hidden emotion varies. If you’re interested in learning more about the genesis of these deep wounds, How Emotions Get Trapped in the Body explores this phenomenon in greater detail.
Heal the Core
Once you’ve identified the core issue, you can then have access to healing that wound. If, for example, you felt abandoned as a small child, you would tap into the feelings of nurturing that you wanted so long ago and soothe the pain that still exists there. If some past event shamed you, you could tap into those trapped feelings of shame, release them, and discover free self-expression. After reconnecting and healing those core wounds, you will no longer need to reach out for that nurturing through negative behaviors or hide your shame in ways that restrict your life.
Rebuild on a New Foundation
At this point in the healing process, you can construct new patterns in place of the old ones – without the emotional baggage that once weighed you down. This is an exciting time, and you can now open the door to satisfying relationships, experience a sense of calm, and enjoy a more fulfilling life.
Healing old wounds is just the beginning. After reconnecting with your core and transforming your life, you will finally be able to interact with others – and yourself – in newer, healthier ways. Not only that, but by releasing the negativity of the past, you’ll start living a rewarding life in the present. And that is one of the greatest gifts of all!