“It’s always push, push, push… and they always want more.”
Taylor is frustrated. Her relationships at work are becoming increasingly difficult – especially with her boss. Not only does he treat her in a condescending manner, but he is also extremely rigid, leaving her with little autonomy in her work tasks.
Taylor spends most of her workday feeling helpless, hopeless, and angry.
To cope, she tends to withdraw from the situation as much as possible. But if she absolutely must spend time with her supervisor, she feels extremely resentful and anxious.
It’s No Surprise
Although these emotions at work may feel “new” to Taylor, this negative dynamic hints at an earlier pattern that has gotten trapped in her body and is now being repeated in her life, albeit unconsciously.
As Taylor and I began our work together, she realized that this seemingly new situation dated back to strained relationships with her parents. Growing up with a mother who abused alcohol meant that Taylor was the victim of wild mood swings that fluctuated from anger to neediness. Meanwhile, her father’s way of coping with his wife’s issues was to remove himself from the situation to avoid being dominated by her.
The young Taylor quickly learned how to protect herself from her mother’s unpredictable behaviors – knowing that her father wasn’t going to do much in the way of helping her. Over time, this led Taylor to bottle up her emotions.
As an adult, whenever Taylor is confronted by someone whose is in any way similar to her mother, she continues the pattern of remaining silent – though now she realizes that she secretly wants to tell others to “fuck off.” Ever the “good girl”, however – and not wanting to create tension with others – she never acts on her feelings. On the surface she remains quiet and unassuming, but inside she suffers from resentment and stress.
In addition to this emotional discomfort, Taylor now experiences pain in her sternum. As I’ll discuss in an upcoming article about Emotional Protection In The Body, it’s no surprise that the pain surfaced in this area, since soreness in the chest bone typically corresponds to feelings of being closed off. In this case, Taylor is feeling the need to protect herself from a domineering boss, and this is being translated through the body as well.
What About You?
Think of a situation or person who has caused you stress – or bodily sensations of being closed off in the chest region – and you can be fairly certain that there’s a link to your early childhood that hasn’t been released yet. Because the wound has not yet healed, any stimulus that mirrors the earlier dynamic will trigger your old coping mechanisms, develop bodily pain, and feel angry, worried, and hostile.
However, you don’t have to continue this downward spiral forever. No matter how entrenched these patterns may be, you can release the emotional pain and rid yourself of the corresponding negative side effects.
That is exactly what Taylor did.
By leading her through a guided meditation that allowed her to reconnect with her feelings from early childhood, she was finally able to let go of the pain and suffering and approach the present from a new perspective.
Today, Taylor doesn’t get triggered in the same way she did before, because she has severed the connection between present-day relationships and her difficult relationships with her family. By releasing the old wounds that have limited her, Taylor now has the ability to approach new people and opportunities without any excess baggage that will hold her back.
Like Taylor, you too can travel lightly through life, without the cumbersome painful emotions from the past. Use the guided meditation to get started, and you’ll quickly experience the emotional freedom that results from healing the core from within.