My best buddy and I have been friends for seven years, but over the last year, we’ve had some serious arguments that would simply blow up out of nowhere. This was strange because we’re both levelheaded guys and tend to communicate well. It was baffling to us that these arguments kept getting out of hand but as we’ve both been traveling constantly we never had the chance to meet in person to iron things out. Finally we were both in the same city at the same time, and we made a plan to meet in person to hammer out our issues and re-build our relationship. When we scheduled the meeting, what happened next was striking, my heart rate immediately went up, my breathing became shallow – I was afraid of having lunch with my best friend! I was surprised at how strong my fear was. When I thought about it, I realized that the friendship was an important male relationship for me, and my fear was of losing that relationship.
Although I understood the reason for the fear, I was still surprised by its intensity, so I decided to create a personalized guided meditation to explore and release my fear. (I’ll publish the guided meditation soon. Make sure you sign up for my newsletter to know when its ready.) I had two reasons for wanting to do this. The first was that I wanted to be in a better state of mind when my friend and I actually met. I didn’t want to be going into the conversation feeling frightened. The second reason was that, in general, for that strong a reaction to exist, there has to be some earlier incident from a younger period of your life behind it. Something must have happened to me to put that pattern in place and I wanted to find and release that wound. You can read more about how this process works in my upcoming article, Dissolving Your Fears—A New Approach.
We had our lunch conversation, and it went well. There were moments when it was difficult, but we both stayed present, kept with the conversation, and reached a good outcome. I was much more able to stay present in the conversation with my friend and that helped us both resolve our issues rationally. It went well. For more on how this process works, see my upcoming articles, Dissolving Your Fears—A New Approach, and to use the guided meditation yourself, register to get notification when the guided meditation is published.