Today I experienced a powerful release of an old heartbreak and disappointment. That was long overdue. And a wonderful opening of my heart, inviting more intimacy again.
Body-Psyche Guide to Inner Wisdom
Here are the body sites touched upon in this exploration:
- Brow – judgment to acceptance
- Eyes – judgment to connection
- 4th, 6th, 6th ribs – heart connection
- 10th, 11th, 12th ribs – forgiveness and acceptance
- Wrist – closing off from or inviting connection
- Heart – love and intimacy
- Spleen – disappointment to spiritual oneness
- Hip – trust
- Knee – trust
Normally I take a while to scan through my body find all the different places that interest me and then settle in on one. But today this area my chest really caught my attention immediately. I’ve been aware for a while that there’s something of a closed offness in my shoulders. My shoulders tend to be rolled in and hunched. My clavicles (collar bones) tend to be a bit closed off. And there have been several explorations recently where that’s something I could’ve gone into in more depth but chose other things and today this really attracts my attention immediately.
So rather than doing the full body scan I’m just going with what lit up immediately as soon as I brought my awareness into my collarbones. It immediately connects to this point in the back of my ribs – the connection of third, fourth and fifth ribs to the third fourth and fifth thoracic vertebrae. My attention goes there immediately.
Just checking out my neck a bit and seeing how that connects down into that location, which importantly is the back of the heart. So this area relates to intimacy and connection. Just gradually settling my attention down into that point in the back of my heart now. Right there. If I were just doing this for myself I wouldn’t have my hand there. I’m just doing this to show you the location that I’m focused on. Settling in with more awareness. Gently arranging my head and neck to point more awareness down to the back of my heart and those ribs. Gently arranging my chest and my ribs. Bending slightly backwards to compress that area which brings more attention into it. You can see there’s a little spike of emotion there as I start to settle down. Very tiny rotational movements to find the sweet spot of the highest intensity. Slight head rotation as well again to really increase the emotional intensity – find that spot that’s going to have the highest intensity which is going to lead to the biggest change. Little peaks of intensity.
Now that’s suddenly brought my awareness down to my spleen on the left side of the body there. That was highly unexpected but whenever we make connections between two sites that are emotionally charged in this organic natural way that tends to lead to really good healings.
Now I’m doing a slight side bending to the left to increase intensity in the spleen. Slight bending of my head and my ribs bringing more attention to the spleen. So I’ve got these two locations going now the back of the heart, which relates to love, intimacy, connection and the spleen which relates to disappointment.
So now mentally in retrospect it’s starting to make sense: I had an emotional pain 10 months ago. I talked before about how that loss of relationship was a huge disappointment for me. Now I’ve got these two places connected and I’m starting to process those emotions, which means they’re going to start to release and heal. I’m just now keeping the two places active in connection and aware of the relationship and the connection between the two. I’ve really got those two places connected. It is quite an intense feeling of disappointment and loss of relationship. There doesn’t have to be huge cathartic external drama but the internal emotion is quite intense. Just allowing it to be; allowing myself to feel it. You can see from the way I’ve got my body arranged I’ve also got most of my weight bearing down now through my left hip. If you’ve seen some of my earlier videos I injured my left hip slightly nine days ago. I did some work on that which connected into my left knee (which relates to trust in relationships) so it turns out with the work I’ve already done on my knee and the work I’ve already done last week in my left hip I’m actually continuing work I initiated to about two weeks ago actually. So this is a nice organic process unfolding. I started with the knee, made some changes there, moved to the hip, made some changes there; and now without me expecting it the work I’m doing today relates to the opening of the shoulders, opening of the heart and processing this disappointment. Of course the whole theme in the knee and hip was trust and now we’ve got disappointment and opening the heart. So I’m really doing this larger process over the course of a few weeks – healing a huge emotional pain in relationship.
With 20-20 hindsight I wish I hadn’t taken 10 months to start working on this but there we have it. I’m working on it now.
Slight rotation in the head finding the most intense emotional connection I can. Connecting those sites up with the spleen with the hip through the heart connection. When the spleen is wounded emotionally it resonates with disappointment but when it’s really free and at it’s most open relates to a spiritual connection. So the when the spleen is really open it allows us to open a spiritual connection.
I noticed here that I’ve got my I’ve had my brow furrowed through this whole thing my jaw a little tight and my eyes tightly focused even thought they’re closed. Those arrangements inhibit healing. A furrowed brow relates to judgment while a soft brow relates to lack of judgment or acceptance. Tight focused eyes relate to judgment while soft focused eyes relate to acceptance. So by shifting those I’m creating more acceptance. That in turn created little peak in emotion and a much process of release now. Really moving through hips spleen heart are all connected. Now there’s a flow of emotion: disappointment from the spleen to the heart, which is now open.
The heart is the most powerful organ for healing, so with an open heart and the disappointments flowing to the heart things are really healing quite fast now. A lot’s shifted so now I’m starting to use the neck rotations and use the body movements to just feel what’s still there. Some stuff’s shifted so I’m looking for what else there is. By very slight rotations very, slight side bending, very slight flexion extension. Really a lot of old wounds flowing to the heart and just releasing and healing.
Here’s that point most where of it has shifted. The intensity’s dropping and my awareness is starting to gradually naturally and organically move out to the larger body motions. I have had things compressed to focus my attention on the heart and spleen but now naturally and organically I’m starting to notice that there’s more ease of motion. There’s less muscular tightness. there’s more fluidity in the arrangement of my ribs and muscles around the third, fourth fifth ribs and their attachments to the third, fourth and fifth thoracic vertebrae.
Now quite organically, without thinking about it, I turned my hand over here opening my left hand and wrist. This is a motion of inviting intimacy inviting, connection. Opening up the wrist is the first place we can either close or invite connection with others connection.
There’s a peak of intensity here: with the shifts that have already happened in my heart and my spleen I can start to consider opening up to greater intimacy. An initial spike and then with that invitation my heart is really opening now the lifting of the heart like that really opening intimacy and connection. Again I’d say I’ve been closed to for the last 10 months or so and this opening of the body posture, opening of the chest, opening of the ribs – I could have done that movement before this exploration but it would have been forced, tight, inauthentic.
There’s another emotional spike here, which is the 10th 11th and 12th ribs in the back, which relate to forgiveness and acceptance. That process and releases fairly quickly. I’m really feeling out those arrangements of the ribs really opening them up. I’m not forcing a new physical arrangement of the muscles and bones which would easy to force but doesn’t change anything in consciousness. This is actually an authentic rearrangement of the structure of the muscles and bones to match a deeper internal change in emotions. That happens naturally. When change happens that way from the deeper non-conscious emotions and arrangements of internal organs and then that rearranges the external musculoskeletal system that is a big shift both in our internal state and then in the external behaviors.
Incidentally you can fake postures of being open-hearted but people read it as being inauthentic. Where as when we actually adopt a posture of openness like this from a deeper change, people unconsciously recognize that experience it as an authentic openness.
So right now this is a slightly strange posture. I wouldn’t walk around street like this but I imagine that after this change as I walk around in my everyday life people are going to naturally and unconsciously just perceive me as being more open to connection. But more importantly I’m going to experience myself as being more open to connection and intimacy. I’ll invite more of that with other people.
I totally wasn’t expecting this today but I’m really excited for this change. Now I’m really done. I’m just exploring the big movements. I just feel a lot more freedom of motion, a lot more fluidity, a lot more ease naturally coming from inside. I can’t wait to see how this plays out in life over the next few days and weeks.