It’s an appealing thought isn’t it: “Overcome your fears in only 45 minutes.”
I’m not quite offering that, as “overcoming” fears doesn’t actually work. Instead, I am offering something far more transformative, which is a process that allows you to access your unconscious, find out what your fear is really about (it’s never what you think), and then transform your fear into a positive motivation that will guide you to success.
Whether success for you is being bold in social situations, working towards your career goals or something else, your fear will be gone and you will be motivated to do what you want with newfound power and grace.
I designed this guided meditation for Self-Confidence Made Easier and Easier course, but it is so good that I wanted to share it with you right away.
You can use this process to transform any fear you like. Before you go any further ask yourself this question: If you could transform any fear of yours, anything that holds you back, any activity or action that makes you uncomfortable or anxious – what would that be?
If you could wave a magic wand, how would your life be different?
Keep this thought in mind as you read the rest of this article.
Overcoming Fears Doesn’t Work
I used the title of “overcoming” fears because that’s how most people think about it. But unfortunately this mindset is self-sabotaging.
When we adopt the mindset of overcoming a fear, structurally, that involves our conscious mind trying to override what is going on in our unconscious brain and body. This approach does not actually remove the unconscious, body-felt fears. Rather it attempts to force ourselves to act, regardless of our fear.
This may work, but with only with limited success. You’ll always be afraid. You’ll always have to coerce yourself into action. And your underlying anxiety will show through to others.
Transform Your Fears Instead
A much more effective approach is to transform fear – reaching down into the unconscious brain and body-felt sensations to connect with them, understand them on their own terms, and then re-pattern them into positive unconscious beliefs and body-felt motivations.
You’ll be following a 45-minute guided meditation to transform your fears into positive motivations. Here are the steps.
Step 1: Focus And Connect
The first part of the guided meditation focuses your mental attention internally, connecting your conscious mind with your unconscious brain and your body-felt sensations. Specifically you’ll be connecting with your unconscious beliefs and body-felt sensations that relate to your fear.
This technique allows your conscious mind to direct and guide changes at deeper levels. (I’ll give a full explanation of how this works in The Science of Body-Psyche series.)
Step 2: Get To Know Your Fear
You must already be conscious of the fear in some way, otherwise you wouldn’t know you wanted to change it. However, you’re likely a passing acquaintance of your fear rather than an intimate friend. You most likely try to suppress the fear whenever it comes up, which is not the best basis for a healthy relationship.
In this part of the exploration, you’ll repeatedly explore deeper and deeper to understand what your fear is about, and delve into the underlying unconscious feelings that fuel the fear.
People are always surprised by what they discover in this process. For example, I recently used this exploration starting with a fear I had about being demanding of the event manager at a major conference where I was presenting. My conscious fear was that I would be perceived as being pushy and rude. When I found my underlying unconscious feeling, I discovered that it was about my childhood experiences of my parents getting annoyed with me when I interrupted them from their work.
The present-day fears that we’re consciously aware of are always built on earlier, younger fears that we have pushed out of conscious awareness.
Step 3: Find Out What You Really Want
Now you know what the real underlying issue is. You’ve also connected your conscious mind to the original source – both in the brain and body – of your fear.
The next question is, “What would you rather have?” If not this fear, not this limitation, then what would you prefer to believe and experience? How would you want to act?
The important thing here is that you’re not asking the question of your conscious mind, which would give the same old answer you’ve always gotten. Rather you’re asking the question of the unconscious parts of your brain and body awareness where the original issue is located.
You’ll be surprised by what your younger self that first felt the fear has to tell you about this.
Step 4: Create What You Want
Now that you know what you really want, creating it is surprisingly simple. You’ll go through several cycles to build an increasingly vivid sense of what you want – in words, pictures, beliefs and feelings.
You’ll be doing this in a way that activates your whole brain – your conscious mind and unconscious brain – plus your body-felt sensations.
The cool thing is that in this highly focused meditative state, the very act of imagining what you want creates it in your brain, nervous system and body (I’ll explain the science behind how this works in my upcoming series on The Science of Body-Psyche).
In this part of the journey you’ll create and reinforce the new beliefs, feelings and behaviors that you want.
This is the magic of transforming your previously limiting fears into positive motivations to act.
Step 5: Enjoy
After you’ve completed the guided meditation you’ll be delighted to discover that your thoughts and feelings have changed, without you having to pay conscious attention to them.
That’s the beauty of making organic changes at an unconscious level.
The Guided Meditation
Here is the guided meditation. It’s 45 minutes long. I recommend that you follow it while seated in a firm chair that you can sit upright on with your feet on the ground. Also, choose a time and place where you can give this your undivided attention for 45 minutes.
You can take notes as you go through the exploration, so you may want to have a pen and paper handy.
After the exploration, please post a comment sharing your experience. I’d love to hear what you discovered.
Self-Confidence Made Easier and Easier
This guided meditation helps you transform a negative fear into a positive motivation. In my new course, Self-Confidence Made Easier and Easier, the next step in the process is to create new, powerful behaviors based on your positive motivations. If you’d like to experience unstoppable self-confidence, you can register now.