“They’re probably not watching,” Andy realizes, “but I just have this knowing, this sense, of them watching me.”
Recently, this mental anguish has led Andy to an acute awareness of tension in his head and face. And the only way he can find relief is to shift his body into what he perceives as a self-confident posture.
“When I’m feeling self-conscious, the pressure rises until I adopt a ‘strong’ position. If I don’t make a massive movement – like crossing my arms or sitting back in my seat – the feeling won’t go away.”
Andy wishes that these exaggerated gestures would exude confidence. However, he knows that these “fake” positions tend to give others the wrong impression of him. As I mentioned in Power Posing, it is possible that some people might perceive a self-conscious person to be arrogant, when in fact that is the opposite of that person’s true personality. This was certainly the case for Andy.
Releasing negative emotions, then, became the first step in ridding himself of self-conscious thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
The Healing Journey
The key is to identify the body sites that have trapped these self-conscious feelings and release them. It is then that true self-expression has room to flourish, as Andy realized after he completed the Transform Self-Confidence into Self-Expression guided meditation.
When he began letting go of those hidden emotional wounds during the guided meditation, Andy noticed an aching in his neck. This makes sense, because tightening the back of the neck is a self-control mechanism. Andy’s pain was already in that area… but he had closed off his awareness of it until he did the guided meditation. Once he realized the pain signified that healing had begun, Andy was able to relax and eventually enjoy permanent mobility and fluidity in his neck.
Another reaction he experienced was feelings of sadness and moments of tears. This is a natural response, because in his moment of healing, Andy began to sense lost opportunities. Wondering, “Why did I wait so long?” and thinking, “I’ve wasted so much time!” are all typical regrets after moments of healing. For Andy, the sadness came in waves, but after one or two cycles, those feelings began to subside as well.
The end results were certainly worth it for Andy: more freedom of expression, greater personal power, and comfort in knowing that he could choose how to act and whom to keep in his life. Now, when an occasional self-conscious thought or feeling surfaces, Andy is aware of this ebb and flow of emotions. He knows that periods of confidence and ease will soon follow, and being able to express himself freely has become more natural and frequent with time.
It’s Your Turn
Here is the Transform Self-Confidence to Self-Expression. You can go ahead and download it now. Like Andy, you will be glad you broke free of the vicious cycle of self-consciousness as you begin to experience the liberation of expressing yourself openly and freely.